• Moonlight Lake
  • Nothing At All
  • Dunno
  • Please Don’t Forget Me
  • Tango Bango
  • The Ashes of Love
  • Nevermind the Snow
  • Live Dangerously
  • You Were the One
  • Thank God for You
  • Where Did I Go?
  • Expired Texas Plates
  • Bottom Drawer
  • Carry It Away
  • Hi-Test
  • Pass Away
  • All Along the Way
  • Jericho
  • Come Home With Me
  • American Tabloid
  • Pete Bondurant
  • Bud White
  • Scary Song
  • In My Tree
  • A Sudden Change
  • The Devil’s 4×4
  • Who’s the Stiff?
  • Down There
  • Onward, To Gulag!
  • What I See
  • Coming Soon
  • Skid Royalty
  • Baby Girl
  • The Great By & By
  • Sleep
  • Nocturne





    • Nothing At All

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    Jami Attenberg asked me to write music inspired by her forthcoming novel The Melting Season, and this is it.

    It’s a beautiful story, and features love gone away, a long drive, and a lot of shame, all themes near and dear to my heart.

    Jami Attenberg can be found here, and you can pre-order The Melting Season, set for release on January 21st, right here.

    …

    The Words:

    I am afraid of what’s inside of me. Something awful. Something weak. Some kind of hurt is hidden away, and I feel nothing, and I am afraid of what’s inside of you. Something desperate, greedy and small. You’re never finished, you’re never okay. You’re never happy. And I am afraid.

    Is this the end? Is this the last? You can smell it like rain. Where has our love gone? Where is my friend? Who will save us now? This is the end. The end of childhood, the end of knowing, the end of our dreams. We had such riches, but it’s all been spent, and there’s nothing left to leave. This is the end.

    Hate me, I took everything. Forgive me, I took nothing. Will you miss me when I’m gone, like I missed you before? Before we went wrong? Like I missed you before we went wrong.

    You’re long gone. When did you go? Was it your father? Was it the money? Was it my emptiness all along? Nobody’s perfect and I’m long gone, driving for days, snow-blind and tired. Don’t try to find me — I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve done nothing right. Nothing at all.

    Say goodbye to nothing at all.

    The Ashes of Love

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    I used to drink every night. Now I just drink on Wednesdays, stirring the ashes of love.

    I used to cry every night. Now I just cry on Wednesdays, stirring the ashes of love.

    Well I could get over you, but I don’t want to, because missing you is all I have left.

    I should forget you, but I don’t want to.

    I just don’t want to.

    I once was happy every night. Now only on Wednesdays, while I’m stirring the ashes of love.

    Country Music

    I came late to country music. In fact, it was just a few years ago that I was in the right frame of mind, body, heart and soul to hear it correctly. I had always been one of those poor misguided fools that listened to “everything but country” before that.

    Then I heard George Jones’s recording of “Hello Darlin’” (yes, George Jones — it was a while yet until I’d hear Conway’s original). It destroyed me.

    From there I went to “He Stopped Loving Her Today” and “Just A Girl I Used To Know” and “She Thinks I Still Care” and “Cold Hard Truth” and then on to Conway, Hank, Merle, Patsy, Loretta, Tammy, and back to Hank — always back to Hank — and so on.

    But I’ve noticed that when you’re broken-hearted, and you want to go cry in some beer, you’re often out of luck. None of the great country bands in Austin, anyway, would touch these old tear-jerkers, sticking instead to tunes suitable for people who were out two-stepping with their dates. The people who were sad and lonely did, in fact, have no place to go.

    So I decided to correct that state of affairs, and once I got to Tucson I started “The Ashes of Love: A Happy Hour for Them That Ain’t.” We played every Wednesday night at the Red Room, and a lot of people came, and some actually cried, so I knew I it was good.

    “Your Cheatin’ Heart,” “Apartment #9,” “If Drinkin’ Don’t Kill Me,” “There Stands the Glass,” “She’s Got You,” “By the Time I Get to Phoenix.” We stuck to the old great songs, playing only two original numbers: Amy Rude’s devastating “Can You Hear Me Crying Through the Walls,” and my own theme song for the evening, which was called “The Ashes of Love.”

    I was high on Patsy and Possum when I wrote that song.

    The band included Vicki Brown on the violin, Amy Rude on vocals and rhythm guitar, Naim Amor and Connor Gallaher on lap steel guitar, Mike Bagesse, Thøger Lund and Gabriel Sullivan on upright bass, Dimitri Manos on drums, Tom Walbank on harmonica, and Emilie Marchand sang as well. Tim O’Grady recorded the video.

    I don’t have a recording of this song for download or sale, but it’s high on my list of things to do. (UPDATE: Yes I do have a recording of this song for download, and it’s here.)

    I just wanted to let you know about country music, in case you’re one of those poor bastards that listens to “everything but.”